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Strikers, Transfers & Money (20/06/2017)
We didn’t really fancy talking about Luka Modric going to jail, or or Ronaldo – God forbid – having to pay his taxes, so we thought we’d do something a bit different.
Coming up, I’m going to read you a few of our latest articles, in case you don’t like reading, and there may be a couple of other bits and pieces. Honestly, I’m not sure. This is being recorded before we’ve ironed out all the details, so relax, enjoy, and know that Mumu of the Week this week goes to the Sunderland fan consortium that wants to stage a takeover of the club and appoint Tony Adams as manager. Look it up. It’s real!
Real Retain Champions League feat. Paul Beirne (13/06/2017)
Today on this truncated Coshcast we pore over the remains of the Champions League final, deplore Sergio Ramos, Ronaldo shouts ‘vamos’ and Buffon deals with another loss.
We also bring you old England in a Tony Adams-laden Mumu of the Week and New England as we look back at Toronto FC’s away defeat.
But best, we did this all in the company of Paul Beirne, who chimes in once in a while, and whom we’d love to return. Enjoy.
Canadian Premier League: Paul Beirne goes Under The Cosh (06/06/2017)
It’s a very special Coshcast today as we welcome Paul Beirne onto the pod to talk about the Canadian Premier League and we’ve got more questions than Mike Flynn’s interrogators.
Amongst many other things, we’d love to know where teams will spring up. London, Windsor, Saskatoon? All may or may not be revealed, soon.
Coshcast: The Champions League Throne & Tears in Rome (29/05/2017)
It’s the Coshcast coming at you after a week of more emotion than a day with Andy Serkis.
We start with the FA Cup Final in which Arsenal exorcise some demons and the demon Diego gets some exercise while Moses can’t part the red sea but does see red.
There’s also Mourinho’s greatest victory ever and a crazy final weekend in Serie A as Totti’s retirement sees the most tears in Rome since earlier this week when Donald Trump visited the Pope.
Elsewhere there’s the Copa Del Rey that everyone definitely cares about and we’ll preview the Champions League final with our special guest who we’ll introduce in a moment. Here we go.
Premier League Review, European Cup Finals Previews (22/05/2017)
The end of domestic season Coshcast is here. We go through the premier league race for top four in detail, asses the top six performances this year and what we can expect from them the next, as well as handing out some prizes for manager of the season, player of the season and goal of the season.
Next, we go through the Champions of Serie A, La Liga, Ligue 1, and Bundesliga before we preview the Europa league and Champions league finals.
We cap it all off with a TFC round up! Enjoy.
Chelsea Champions, Liverpool Champions League (15/05/2017)
The season is nearly over but this Coshcast is just beginning.
This week we start with the Champions Chelsea as Michy bats away the critics to score the league-winning goal, and Cesc follows in Theresa May’s footsteps by promising a Blue assault on Europe. Elsewhere the rain at the Lane falls mainly on Teddy Sheringham during Tottenham’s post-match celebrations, Rooney, Sturridge and Kyle Naughton score goals prompting fears of an impending judgement day, and speaking of which, Marco Silva’s men are finally out of purgatory but does Hull await him next season?
Across Europe there’s a ton of Serie A to cover with Juve’s players and Inter’s fans all out to lunch, and some of the week’s best goals in La Liga as Nacho requires no dip to score a free kick for Real Madrid.
All this, a Toronto FC recap and all your regular features. Here we go.
Mourinho Wines, Chelsea Dine, Madrid Shine (08/05/2017)
The Coshcast joins you after a weekend that saw loads of exciting things happen that didn’t mean very much at all. At the Emirates Arsenal sort of proved that Xhaka can sort of shoot while getting the first victory over the Dark Lord since Gollum fell into the fires of Mount Doom.
Elsewhere this time it’s not lasagna that makes Spurs sick but there is ham involved, and on Monday Matic scratches Middlesbrough out of the league. There’s also La Liga chat as Real Madrid leave Tony Adams with Granada to show for his efforts and in Italy Juve fail to Higuaind things up, other than Mihajlovic, of course.
Finally we’ll talk Toronto FC getting the best victory in Seattle since the Emerald City implemented a $15 minimum wage. Avanti.
White Hart Pain (01/05/2017)
The Coshcast is back after a weekend that saw more fake penalties than Donald Trump is imposing on Vladimir Putin.
Where else to start but White Hart Lane where it was the story of the Alli-Kane, Goodison Park where Chelsea looked anything but homesick blues, Old Trafford where the Swans leave United blowin’ in the wind and Teeside, as City look shaky enough to be the Tambourine man.
Elsewhere there’s a touch of La Liga where Marcelo rains on Valencia’s Parejo, Serie A where the Laziale win the Derby della Capitale and we stay local to discuss Toronto FC’s 2-0 victory over Houston and the dampest performance by a Texan since Tila Tequila in…
A Clasico FA Cup Weekend (24/04/2017)
Messi gets Real Madrid to Zidane and shut up as his last minute winner puts Barcelona level with Daddy Yankee – number 1 in Spain.
A dramatic FA Cup weekend in England left Manchester City fans feeling sick after Pep’s abysmal showing, and Chelsea beat Spurs after Pochettino does what most dads do at some point and puts Son in awkward position, leaving Tottenham like much of the world, trying to win back the left wing.
Elsewhere there was a league win for United, a huge notch on Allardyce’s bed-post as disgusting as that is to imagine, and an abbondanza of goals in Italy where Fiorentina concertina Inter’s push for Europe.
A TFC recap, Mumu of the Week and the quiz top us off. Take a seat.
Ander Herrera Handles Hazard + CL Preview (17/04/2017)
It’s the Coshcast! Coming at you like a North Korean missile: some ups, some downs and probable fizzling out out at the end.
We’ll probably start at Old Trafford where miserly Mou man marked his way to glory, while Arsenal play a three at the back and remain three back of United. Elsewhere Liverpool win away, Bournemouth get Dembeled and Southampton are meleed by City.
We’ll also delve into La Liga where Gijon cause some panic but Isco dances past them, we look ahead to the Champions League in midweek and of course celebrate the end of John Terry.
Tottenham Spur Chelsea On & Barcelona fall to Malaga (10/04/2017)
Coshcast is here as the end of the season draws near.
This week we discuss which is trippier, Spurs’ right back or Fellaini captaining United. There’s Everton – Leicester in a great advert for how rubbish the Premier League can be, Liverpool try weird tactic of using best players to win game, Chelsea bop Bournemouth and we all get a little bit little bit David Attenborough as the world is given a glimpse of the lesser-spotted Delph.
Elsewhere we look to Spain where both Real Madrid and Neymar see red, Italy where Juve continue their standard thread, and Germany where Bayern put Dortmund to bed.
Conversation & Hennessey (03/04/2017)
It’s the Coshcast and unlike David Moyes’ latest comments, you’re unlikely to regret that you’ve heard it.
We’ll start on the green fields of England where Arsenal and Manchester City fight a battle of incompetence and incontinence given their leaks at the back, Manchester United battle impotence, and on Merseyside Liverpool smash past Everton while Lukaku – much like Lee Harvey Oswald – can’t actually be seen taking a shot.
There’s also Chelsea, Spurs and absolutely no analysis of Watford against Sunderland before like Angela Merkel we anxiously scan results around Europe, and finally Rishay reports back from Toronto FC’s home opener against Kansas City.
International Leg Break (27/03/2017)
Canada Scotland, Bulgaria got Blind
sacked in the morning
it never rains but it pours and
Coleman’s leg break
Uruguay’s heart ache
look ahead Premier League
Arsenal find it hard they’ve
got City – momentous
Napoli host Juventus
TFC & Kansas
we paint a picture on the canvas.
Coshcast. At full mast.
Jurgpep Guardiolopp (20/03/2017)
It’s the Coshcast coming at you like an Ashley Young cross to the back post for Fellaini, pretty uncool, but extremely reliable.
We start in the Premier League where City and Liverpool had more misses than that bloke that thanked all of his in his post-match interview, then we’ll move onto Spurs and Saints in the battle to decide who really will be marching in. There’s also Manchester United’s resurgence, Arsenal’s Tim Burton-esque spiral and of course, Chelsea’s utter grit and determination which they somehow possess despite having very few Englishmen.
Elsewhere we’ll visit Italy and Spain where Kroos does it again, check in on Toronto FC who pull off a maneuver in Vancouver and serve up the week’s best idiots in Mumu of the Week. Are you sitting comfortably?
S4_Ep29: Kante’s Omnipresence (13/03/2017)
It’s the Coshcast hoping not to get banned for stamping on your ears.
We start this week with the ever romantic FA Cup in which Millwall manage to be racist, injure Harry Kane and pop Vincent Janssen’s cherry in one afternoon, Manchester United try to bully Chelsea and find that they Kante after Herrera’s error, Arsenal find their level and Manchester City make Pep so happy.
Elsewhere there’s a few Premier League games to discuss featuring Bournemouth, Everton and Liverpool, and a brilliant weekend of shenanigans across Europe. Inter beat Atalanta at a canter, Juve Miland on their feet and Real Madrid inch closer to La Liga title after Betis can’t decide between zonal and man-marking and choose to do neither.
Mumu of the Week, a quick quiz and Toronto FC’s exploits in Philadelphia are also involved. Push the button.
S4_Ep28: Liverpool pole-vault Arsenal into 4th (03/03/2017)
This week on the Coshcast, we delve into the the latest from the Premier League’s top stories including Chelsea’s American Football-style tactics, the continuing shambles surrounding Arsenal, Tottenham’s frenetic victory over Everton, The Battle of Mings & Zlatan and David Moyes’ continuing depression.
Elsewhere, we stop off in Italy where Napoli stun Roma, Lazio join the race for the Champions League and Juventus actually fail to win, while in Spain Barcelona have a Leicester-esque reaction to the news that their manager is leaving, and Benzema proves that he has more than just his size in common with Troy Deeney as he scores a couple of goals.
A quick touch on Toronto FC rounds us off.
S4_Ep27: Zlatan saves the day & Shakespeare’s Leicester play (27/02/2017)
It’s another Coshcast for all you football junkies out there! We missed last week, but we’re back now! Speaking of backs, and if you believe the rumors, Ranieri got stabbed in his as his assistant, Shakespeare, looks to write another act in the clubs history. Leicester fans will be hoping he’s in the mood for a midsummer nights dream and not a Macbeth.
Elsewhere, Zlatan wins his 409th trophy at 768 years of age, Klopp gets a beating, and Spurs spank Stoke. In Europe we visit the local leagues as the Serie A and La Liga races heat up and finish off with a review of the crazy Champions League games from the last two weeks.
Let’s cut in off the right and curl this one into the top corner!
S4_Ep26: Champions League Miracles (13/02/2017)
The Coshcast is here for you my dear and it’s been well, an average weekend of football, let’s be honest.
We’ll make the best of it though as we plough into the Premier League where in some kind of Henry Kissinger nightmare the red armies swept all before them with wins for Liverpool, Arsenal, Man Utd & Southampton, while in Wales, Paul Clement was in his element compared to Ranieri, who looked all despair-y.
We’ll also take a break from reminding you that Real Madrid and Juventus are top of their respective leagues to preview the upcoming Champions League fixtures. Can Barcelona withstand the Parisien legion, who will win the encounter of the counter attacks when Real take on Napoli, and can Arsenal pull off a miraculous masterpiece in Munich?
Join the chat.
S4_Ep25: Steven Caldwell goes Under The Cosh (06/02/2017)
Joining us today to talk about Toronto FC, this week’s Premier League action and answer your questions is former Premier League and MLS player, and Toronto’s favourite Scotsman, Steven Caldwell. Let’s get right into it.
S4_Ep24: Magic of the cup, Europe, and AFCON (30/01/2017)
FA Cup weekend means FA Cup Coshcast along with news from around Europe and the African Cup of Nations.
We’ll discuss Arsenal – Southampton and how much Lucas Perez plays like Messi, Tottenham against Wycombe and I’ll let the lads explain that one, Manchester United beat Wigan and sing Wigan to Wembley, but Liverpool prove that not all who are Wanderers are lost as they go down to Wolves.
Also, transfers! Is Gabbiadini the best “Dini” since Troy? Is David Moyes parodying himself by signing Darron Gibson? Meanwhile Dimitri Marseilles goodbye to West Ham, and will surely find out whether the Snodgrass is always greener on the other side.
Elsewhere, order is restored in Seria A as Juventus win and only Inter follow suit in the chasing pack, and similarly in Spain, Real get Madrid of their pesky challengers by winning when Barcelona, Sevilla and Atleti all fail to do so.
Burkina fasten your seatbelts.
S4_Ep23: Panenkas and Title Races (23/01/2017)
Where else to start but at the Etihad where Citeh had a 2-0 lead against Spurs pulled back, and where Kyle Walker did his best impression of Brexit as he pushed Sterling into an unrecoverable position.
Elsewhere Llorente and Firmino get doubles like they’re at a Caribbean grocer, do Arsenal fans look like spanners with their banner banter?, and has Ranieri missed a therapy session, because the Tinkerman seems to have returned.
We’ll also take a look at Spain where Sergio Ramos once again answers Real Madrid’s prayer, Italy, where Mandzukic, Dybala and Higuain form a holy trinity and of course the African Cup of Nations, where I’ve been forced to lose faith in Algeria after only a week, after picking them to win the tournament.
Knock it up to the big man.
S4_Ep22: Pep slander & Pogbaganda (16/01/2017)
It’s the Coshcast, warming your hearts from Toronto like yet another meme of Justin Trudeau cuddling something.
We start as ever in the Premier League where Everton eat City for breakfast as easily as Ronald Koeman eats buttered bread with sprinkles, Manchester United fail to beat Liverpool despite all the Pogbaganda, Arsenal and Spurs ease to victories and Chelsea show that should Costa leave, it’s fine, because Marcus Alonso is there to score all the goals.
We’ll crane our necks to see what’s been going on across Europe as Real Madrid suffer a Sevilla defeat that ends their unbeaten run, and speaking of teams that are rarely beaten, Juventus’ lead at the top of Seria A is cut to just a point, which almost certainly means they’ll win their next game while everyone around them loses.
A touch of African Cup of Nations, a quick quiz and a round up of football’s latest stupid off the pitch moments seal the deal. On we go.
S4_Ep21: Ronaldo, Premier League, AFCON (09/01/2017)
The Coshcast is here and I’m delighted to say that the squad is back to full strength.
We start this week by somewhat glazing over the third round of the FA Cup to review the Premier League at the half way point. Find out who the Cosh think have been the best and worst signings, which manager best understands the league, and which player has displayed the most grit and determination. That’s bound to be an Englishman, surely.
Elsewhere we’ll make you giggle with Mumu of the Week, glance over at Spain where Barcelona look meek and then have a Uganda at the African Cup of Nations where we pick one team Togo all the way. Ivory much think it’s Zimbabwe or the highway, so someone is definitely Ghana take the Bissau’t of me, but eventually they’ll Cameroon to my way of thinking.
S4_Ep20: Allardyce in Palace Coup & Arsenal’s gift is Giroud (26/12/2016)
Ho Ho Ho, Happy Holidays to all. Merry Christmas, Hanukkah and whatever else occurs this time of year. For us, it’s the busy premier league fixtures as Pulis tries to ruin Christmas. Palace hire a Santa lookalike, Moyes doesn’t get his holiday miracle as he loses on his return to the theatre of dreams, reminding him of why he couldn’t emulate the red nose reindeer.
Elsewhere, Leipzig are brought crashing down through the snow and the Super Coppa is in Doha where it never snows. Tevez and Oscar get their Christmas gifts early from China.
That and more on this festive episode. Down the chimney we go!
S4_Ep19: Arsenal City Plans Fail (18/12/2016)
The Premier League suffers a dip in form this week but unlike Loris Karius, we keep it in the line up, beginning at the Etihad where we saw the biggest collection of weak defences since OJ’s trial.
Elsewhere Chelsea evoke the spirit of Mo Farah and keep their run going, United play West Brom, which sees them win their second in a row and we have a wee gander at Italy where Roma took Juventus close but predictably not close enough.
The quiz and Mumbai of the Week top us off. Let’s pod.
S4_Ep18: Toronto FC Pay the Ultimate Penalty (11/12/2016)
It’s the Coshcast and we join you from a Toronto with more snow than an investment banker’s Christmas party.
Speaking of Toronto, we start with our take on the MLS Cup where Toronto FC make their final appearance of the season and their first appearance in a final where Seattle stage a sneaky coup detat and take victory without firing a shot.
Then it’s on the Premier League where Manchester United win a game with Fellaini on the pitch, there’s a Leicester landslide caused by loose Stones and we join in the speculation about Mustafi’s plans for a nice Christmas.
Finally we’ll take a look around Europe where Sergio Ramos proves more clutch than a manual car and Bayern head back to the top of the Bundesliga after Ingolstadt say that what they really want is to Leipzigazig ahh. Let’s go.
S4_Ep17: Red Tinted Glasses (05/12/2016)
The Coshcast is here, ladies and gentlemen so grab the beverage of your choice and settle in. We’ve gone for tea, in case you were wondering.
We start in the Premier League where Pep peppers Chelsea’s goal but finds out the Costa his side’s wastefulness, Liverpool realize there’s only so far Matip can Karius and speaking of goalkeepers, even Stekelenberg being useless can’t lead Manchester United to a victory. Elsewhere, Arsenal and Spurs hand out batterings like a Scot with a Mars bar and Tony Pulis is somehow providing a non-Brexit related challenge for Europe.
Speaking of which, we’ll take a look back at El Clasico which was anything but, the Derby Della Capitale where Strootman learned to strut and of course we’ll go local with Toronto FC who beat Montreal Impact to make the MLS Cup.
Nous chantons les rouges allez!
S4_Ep16: Moses Ensures Victor(y) For Chelsea (28/11/2016)
It’s the Coshcast and this week Quiztian Fuchs starts us off before we dive into the Premiership.
Chelsea go on the Conte attack to earn their Spurs, Liverpool continue to roll onwards despite being twice Ndonged, Arsenal defeat Bournemouth despite Ake at the back, and Mourinho may need to hit a bottle of red after getting a red for hitting a bottle.
Elsewhere we’ve got Barcelona’s blind spot, an international investigation after Juventus lose a game, some Thomas Vermaelen related banter and we look forward – again – to Toronto FC against Montreal Impact. It’s by far the greatest pod, the world has ever, no, it’s not. That was season 1 of Serial. On we go.
S4_Ep15: Ronaldo Scores A Twattrick (21/11/2016)
Today, we look back on United versus Arsenal as Mourinho tries to make a point while Arsene settles for one. In North London Tottenham leave it White Hart Late to defeat West Ham, and speaking of ham, Ronald Koeman looks like one. Elsewhere it’s hooray for Toure as Pardew’s men become the second Palace in a week to need expensive refurbishment, and the Stadium of Light proves anything but as Anichebe has Moyes reaching for new heights.
We’ll take a spin around Europe where Ronaldo scored a twat-trick against Atleti, AC & Inter share a stadium and the points in the Milan derby, and we tell you about our time with SudKurve, the Toronto Bayern Munich supporter’s club.
A Toronto FC preview, Mumu of the Week and Juan Carlos Quiztero round us up. Move over.
S4_Ep14: Brazil Make a Messi of Argentina (14/11/2016)
The international break hasn’t broken the most international of podcasts, although…to be honest it nearly did.
We’ll start with England as the fluffy three lions get three headers against Scotland in a battle between North and Southgate, the Republic of Ireland brush off their opposition as McLean bristles, we glance at South America where Tite teaches the Argentines a lesson, and of course Bernie and Mohaned tell us about Nigeria and Egypt’s latest successes in the African World Cup Qualifying group stages.
Elsewhere there’s the weekend’s big Premier League games to look forward to such as Sunderland against Hull, major European fixtures with all the Madrids and the Milans and Dortmund against Bayern Munich. All in day’s work, eh?
S4_Ep13: A Good Week For The Reds (07/11/2016)
The Coshcast is back after an incredible weekend of action.
In the Premier League the North London Derby is hardly a party as an own goal from Wimmer turns out not to be the winner and Spurs undergo a successful change in shape quicker than Steve Bruce.
Liverpool & Chelsea run riot through the league like bulls through Pamplona, City draw again, United play through pain and how about this? Sunderland win a game.
Elsewhere we’ll touch on a couple of the key stories from Spain before we delve with pride into our Toronto FC segment after their 7-0 destruction of New York City FC. They’re doing much better than the last red army that tried to conquer the United States, that’s for sure.
S4_Ep12: Toronto FC Playoff Magic (31/10/2016)
It’s the Halloween Coshcast and we can’t decide which is scarier, Sean Dyche’s voice or David Moyes very public descent into madness.
We start as ever in the Premier League where Chelsea do what mini-vans have never been able to and make five-in-the-back seem cool, Liverpool smash down the Palace gates, Aguero gets a brace and Ibrahimovic shares more with Austin Powers than his goofy looks as he appears to have totally lost his mojo.
Elsewhere we delve deep into Toronto FC’s playoff push, looking back on impressive victories over Philadelphia Union and NYCFC, while the quiz and Mumu of the Week guarantee some lolz. As Calvin Harris featuring Ne-Yo says, “Let’s go”.
S4_Ep11: A Great Day For Einsteins (24/10/2016)
It’s flu season and so we’ve got an industrial strength Coshcast for you.
We start in the Premier League where Manchester United are so clueless against Chelsea that they make the invasion of Iraq look strategic and well planned, City suffer from loose Stones, Liverpool Coutinho to impress, and Swansea and Watford play out an epic thril – nah I’m just kidding, we’re not talking about that.
We will however check in on La Liga where the Bernabeu hosted Bilbao, Atleti suffer a Sevilla shock and it was a case of Mounir yet so far for Valencia at the Camp Nou.
An Italian sommario takes a look at Joao Mario’s Inter, Roma’s scintillating form and Milan’s outstanding victory over Juventus. All this, Mumu of the Week, Toronto FC and Stefan Quizling finish the move. Have a dig.
S4_Ep10: Red Monday, Red Icardi (17/10/2016)
This week, on the Coshcast:
Liverpool United shares similarities with abstinence in that both are anti-climax. Mourinho spoils Liverpool’s party again but only by a De Gea’s breadth while Chelsea do to Leicester what everyone did to them last season, Bob Bradley wears a pullover but can’t pull one over on old Arsene, and Manchester City ask if they can trade their penalties in for corners as they continue to find themselves useless from 12 yards.
There’s drama across Europe where Granada suffer a Carrasco fiasco as Atleti hit them for seven, Barcelona’s opposition: were they outplayed or were Depor? and in Italy the Inter ultras show Mauro the red Icardi while Roma snappily beat Napoli.
Mumu of the Week, a lovely little quiz and a Toronto FC update put the icing on the Coshcake. Let’s eat.
S4_Ep9: Quiztophe Dugarry (09/10/2016)
It’s international break Coshcast! Why? We’re not sure. But why not?
This week we’ve got more mumus than a field of cows. There’s Ukrainian in being homophobic shock, Ryan Giggs feeling entitled, Enner Valencia not giving what’s entitled, and a Norwegian manager who has completely lost his damn mind.
Elsewhere we’ll touch on the international qualifiers if any of us can remember what they’re for, and get stuck into an extended quiz segment attached to an exciting announcement.
Join us, and by the end of the pod we guarantee that we’ll all be nearly an hour closer to the return of club football.
S4_Ep8: A footballing Smorgasbord (03/10/2016)
Welcome to this week’s Coshcast:
We start in the Premier League where Tottenham adopt alleged CIA methods by suffocating Manchester City to within an inch of their life to establish a lead, Liverpool seal a run-of-the-Milner victory over Swansea, Arsenal’s Oxlade Chamberlain demonstrates how to win while being tragically incompetent and Chelsea turn to Moses to lead them to the promised land that is a routine 2-0 victory over Hull City.
It was also a belter of a weekend across Europe. Barca think here Vigo again as they once more concede four at the Balaídos, Valencia hire Prandelli and get eaten for lunch by Atleti, and in Italy Roma step Inter the light as Dzeko and Szczesny help them past the Nerazzurri.
Toronto FC and Mumu of the Week seal the deal, and this week the quiz is entitled Jakub Blaszczyquizki, so…soz.
S4_Ep7: Liverpool dish out a Hull of a beating (26/09/2016)
This week on the Coshcast:
Mourinho drops Rooney and the resulting earthquake changes the footballing landscape radically enough that it allows Arsenal to finally and emphatically defeat Chelsea. At Anfield Klopp’s Redmen give out a Hull of a beating leaving Mike Phelan a little down on his birthday, City wring the Swans neck as Guidolin heads for the guillotine, and West Ham put in another Slavenly performance as Southampton capitalize in the London stadium.
There’s a dash of European intrigue as Real get lost amongst the palms, Barcelona take their turn at kicking the donkey and in Italy, Roma hit peak Roma as they lose to Joe Hart’s Torino.
We finish with a look back at Toronto FC’s draw with Philadelphia Union that actually clinched them a playoff spot, while Mumu of the Week and Carlos Quizroz keep everyone on their toes. Welcome aboard.
S4_Ep6: Quadruple? What the f*ck! (19/09/2016)
Another week, another Coshcast. On this episode:
Watford spank Manchester United whose squad is starting to look like a luxury yacht – hideously expensive and all at sea, Liverpool take a page out of Tayyip Erdogan’s book by establishing control through the press, Arsenal, City, West Brom and Crystal Palace all go a bit Brian Lara and knock their opponents for four, and Spurs show they’ve still got some fire in Dembele as they batter Sunderland, 1-0.
Elsewhere we’ve got news from around Europe as Cavani looks less Mbokani and more Slimani with a four goal haul in Ligue 1, the Big Three win in Spain and and Inter win a game in the Derby D’Italia where Juve put in a performance so flaccid that it might as well have been the Derby D’Tagliatelle.
All this plus Toronto FC make the playoffs, Santi Quizorla tests our knowledge and Mumu of the Week tests our patience. Buckle up.
S4_EP5: Payet gives us all a rabona (10/09/2016)
It was an action packed Saturday in the Premier League as Pep’s City play football from another planet and leave Manchester United very much like Saturn – with rings run around them, despite Claudio Bravo’s best attempts to ruin everything.
Elsewhere Watford stage a comeback as big as Troy Deeney while Payet gives everyone a massive rabona. Sturridge encourages for Liverpool as they basically whip out their dilly dongs against Leicester, Arsenal & Spurs win in contrasting styles and Bournemouth do humanity a favour by edging Tony Pulis towards unemployment.
There’s also a round up of some of the weekend’s top games from around Europe including Juventus, PSG – which if you didn’t know stands for Probably Sacking the Gaffer – and Barcelona, who lose control of Alaves for the first time since Dani requested to leave in the summer.
The quiz, Mumu of the Week and Toronto FC make us whole. Forward march.
S4_Ep4: International Break, Transfer deadline day, and the Manchester Derby (05/09/2016)
It may be International weekend in football but it’s always international weekend on the Coshcast as a Nigerian, Egyptian, Indian and Brit take you through the latest news. We’re all Canadian too, eh?
It was a transfer deadline day to remember as Chelsea spent 30 million on David Lolz, Spurs decide they just Moussa have Sissoko, Jack Wilshere retires to the South Coast and West Brom sign Allan Nyom which only made it in here because it’s pleasing to say. West Nyomich Albion.
Elsewhere we’ve got coverage of the World Cup qualifiers including Canada not quite enduring Honduras, Big Sam’s first Big Match, and a Mumu of the Week featuring Zenit St. Petersburg and other stories that are funnier than David Moyes pronouncing “Didier Ndong”.
Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er.
S4_Ep3: Mourinho wins in Fergie-time (29/08/2016)
The Premier League (apart from West Brom) delivers goals again as Watford lose to Arsenal after a first half so sinfully awful that the Hornets turn to Pereyra to restore some faith. Meanwhile Manchester United are grateful for Rashford’s focus, the Swans waddle after Jamie Vardy as Leicester win at home and Spurs and Liverpool take out their ironing boards in a game that saw more pressing than the local dry cleaner.
In Italy Juventus win again as Lazio freeze with Khedira in the headlights and in Naples, Napoli and Milan see visions of the Spanish flag with yellows and reds all over the place. We’ve also got Mateja Quizman, Mumu of the Week and of course? Toronto FC. Andiamo!
S4_Ep2: Spend some f***ing money (22/08/2016)
This week on the Coshcast: Conte bans ketchup to avoid a dip in form while Costa and Batshuayi find each other complimentary, Arsene still gives his players few specific instructions but gets one in particular from Arsenal fans, United Zlatan Southampton’s hides and leave them up the river despite the best efforts of Van Dijk and Liverpool share an experience with Hillary Clinton and feel the Burnley.
Elsewhere we’ve got news from Italy where De Boer makes a pig’s ear of his debut as Inter manager, Roma batter Udinese and Higuain somehow lifts himself off the bench to score the winner for Juve. La Liga, Toronto FC, Mumu of the Week and Antoine Quizman complete the set. Let’s bounce.
S4_Ep1: Goals, Shambles, and Tactical Hipster (16/08/2016)
Oh my god. It’s back, ladies and gentleman! The Coshcast is back.
So is the Premier League, if you hadn’t noticed. Chelsea Conte their blessings as Lunatic Costa manages to see red without getting sent off, a confident United ease past Bournemouth as Mourinho goes 90 minutes without insulting Juan Mata, and of course there are the Arsenal fans who could not believe what they were seeing as they witnessed Pep Guardiola turning Clichy and Sagna into central midfielders.
Elsewhere we’ll touch on the European Super Cups, re-introduce Mumu of the Week and then get local as Jamie Oliver’s vegetables as we look at the differing fortunes of Toronto FC and the Canadian women’s team in the Olympics.
Don’t get it twisted. We’ve missed you and we know you you’ve missed us like Jamie Vardy from two yards out.