Red Monday, Red Icardi.

Liverpool United shares similarities with abstinence in that both are anti-climax. Mourinho spoils Liverpool’s party again but only by a De Gea’s breadth while Chelsea do to Leicester what everyone did to them last season, Bob Bradley wears a pullover but can’t pull one over on old Arsene, and Manchester City ask if they can trade their penalties in for corners as they continue to find themselves useless from 12 yards.