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We start in the MLS playoffs as Toronto FC progress and Jozy Altidore is forced to take the Bulls by the horns.

Then it’s the Premier League where United can’t find the passing lane, decide to take route 1 and end up falling off the Bridge, at the Etihad Arsene finds that putting le Coq in the back doesn’t stop the leaking, and Liverpool’s smashing of West Ham proves too much for Gold & Sullivan who finally scratch that Bilic.

Elsewhere there’s news from Serie A where a free kick from Benevento proves only a memento as they can’t prevento Juvento from going ahead, so, Napoli’s lead is cut to a point. And Spain where Barcelona win with two goals from Alcacer. It’s true, I swear.

Get stuck in.