Welcome to Episode 17!

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It’s El Podico!

We start, inevitably, at the Bernabeu, where the white of Madrid is no longer pure after they got completely f***ed by Barcelona. Rumours abound that Interpol are no longer seeking out terrorists, but are instead searching for a host of missing midfielders.

There’s news from Italy where Juve put Dybalaway past Milan, and Germany where Bayern all but sew up the title after they win, and Dortmund lose.

And, of course, the Premiership. Liverpool mangle managala, Spurs hammer the Hammers, Arsenal might as well become Opus Dei after their continued self-flagellation, and Vardy officially becomes the best striker in the world, ever.