Football Funnies

Fan Preview: Aston Villa vs Manchester United

By Brent Billing

Preview – Aston Villa v. The 2015 Champions…(it’s early, I am allowed to dream)

Friday August 14, 2015

Villa Park, Birmingham

On my second trip to the UK to see United,  a trip to Birmingham was my initiation into sightseeing in what might be the most drab, inhospitable city outside of Baghdad. The same city that spawned Led Zeppelin, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, Traffic and Duran Duran (I am man enough to admit I am a fan…) evidently spent all of its cultural energy on music. I would rather sandpaper a bobcat’s ass in a  phone booth than visit there again…but United will win tomorrow, 2-1.

Villa got a late Rudy Gestede winner to defeat Premiership newcomers Bournemouth. United beat Tottenham 1-0 and we know just how awfully we played last week.  LVG has hinted that Romero will keep his place in the side and we have no other injury concerns. Phil Jones is still out – I believe he tripped over his own foot thus proving that he is Darren Anderton incarnate. The lad is made of paper mache.

For the Villains; Jack Grealish is a doubt. More than likely lying prostrate in a Tenerife side street.

We typically beat Villa like a rented mule – they have one win in 39 outings against us.  Last year’s fixture saw a 10-man United squad emerge from Little Yemen with a point.  To me this is a massive game for a couple of reasons – one: two of our main rivals play on Sunday and Arsenal have a tricky game away to Palace.  Secondly, we did not win our first away game until November in 2014 – our home form was outstanding but it was our inability to win on the road that put us squarely behind Chelsea.

With Club Brugges mid-week, I would look at one or two minor changes.  I pray that Carrick is rested for Herrera.  I think Young will retain his place but Mata could move into the middle.  Villa are dramatically more athletic than in past years.  Jordan Amavi – the French Under-21 international – looked very good at left back against Bournemouth. The additions of Veretout, Ayew and the erstwhile ex-Manchester City player Scott “Why the #$%^&* did I leave Swansea?” Sinclair have made Villa very pacy.  Mata exposes our right side so look for Young or Depay to drift out wider to assist Darmian in dealing with a very quick Villa left side.

Predicted Manchester United side:

Romero, Darmian, Smalling, Blind, Shaw, Herrera, Schneiderlin, Mata, Young, Rooney, Depay.

Predicted Villa side:

Guzan, Bacuna, Richads, Clark, Amavi, Veretout, Gueye, Gestede, Westwood, Abonglahor, Sinclair

Score –  2-1 to United.

Why – Because Tim Sherwood looks like a drunk Ryan Gosling and he played for Blackburn Rovers. The spine of Villa is not that solid – no Ron Vlaar this year. Richards and Clark will struggle with United’s movement.

Concerns:  Blind’s pace will be tested much more this week than last.  Gabby Agbonlahore is a pain in the ass to play against. My projected team selection would give Villa a lot of problems in the middle of the park. Bournemouth had a lot of the ball (58%) last week, but not enough skill in midfield to break Villa down. United won’t have that difficulty.

Brent Billing is a diehard Red Devil supporter who lives and works in Waterloo.  His  favorite past times include delivering 1980’s newspaper clippings to Liverpool supporters so they can feel good about themselves and reminding Chelsea supporters that the current manager of Leicester was the manager of their team before they became fans.  Doting father, Executive Recruiter but most importantly diehard Red Devil. He’s new to Twitter so make sure you follow him @billingbrent

Categories: Football Funnies

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