Football Funnies

Rishay’s Rants Vol. 1

Couple of things going on in the world of soccer as usual that make me tick. Let’s finally put this blog to good use and express my opinions in unhindered fashion:

Firstly, Arsenal’s reported interest in Di Maria and now Rooney again. Everytime Arsenal makes a foray into the transfer market these days my first impulse is to respond with a sort of “Oh really…” tone. It amuses me that Arsenal are suddenly trying to launch bids for these top players. Couldn’t they have just hung on to a few of their own a couple of years back? (sorry Arsenal fans, if this one hit close to home). All they would have had to do was increase their wages, which would probably be equal to the cost of a transfer or two for a new top class player when paid over several years. Now not only do they have to buy new players but they also have to pay high wages if they want to attract them. Nobody is going to take a pay cut, get real! (no pun intended). Maybe they had Financial Fair Play on their minds? Who knows.

Whats on your mind Wenger?

Whats on your mind Wenger?

All I can say is this: Don’t even bother with a Rooney bid. If he leaves and goes to you I will actually be stupefied (and if so, it will probably be for the better). When I think about your targets this summer, I realize that Higuain was cheaper than Suarez would have been and will be cheaper than Rooney. Come on… let Napoli swoop in for him?! No way! Please go buy some players but stay in your weight division…your manager’s stubbornness can’t be mended just like that=). I must say I regret defending Wenger in a recent soccer debate that accounted for 3 hours of back and forth text message arguing. I would love to have that chunk of my Saturday morning back. Oh god why…..

Next on the cards is Mourinho’s verbal diarrhea that we should probably start getting used to (unlike Guardiola prior to the 2011 Champions league semi final classico…). He is unnecessarily irritating….which is the only appropriate way of describing him if that makes any sense at all (and coming from a fan of a rival team). Pregame and Postgame of the United match seems to be all about the Wayne Rooney transfer saga and not about the quality of football we had to sadly waste our lives with… he doesn’t seem to be talking about how badly Chelsea played at Old Trafford on Monday.

Looking good in blue

Looking good in blue

I had to rewatch the 24 minute extended Match of the Day highlights to actually confirm that Chelsea were garbage. Park the bus panning out in a top 6 clash it seems….a phrase ironically coined by Jose himself. I fully expected Chelsea to grow stronger as the match wore on but they just resorted to a couple of long shots. Not saying that United played much better, but for a team that is devoid of a reliable midfielder (sorry Carrick, you’re close but not quite there yet for me), they dominated possession and were the more positive of the two sides. Rooney….your silence is deafening and becoming downright irritating at this point. Show the fans some love instead of hogging it all for yourself (I know you’ve got an appetite, son=)).

Do I want Juan Mata at Manchester United? I’m not sure…some fellow United fans would die for him but I couldn’t care less about him. Is he better than Silva? No. Don’t we have Kagawa? Oh yeah….that guy. We also have Rooney in the #10 role at this moment. Perhaps players like Kagawa and Mata are the next generation of benchwarmers (sarcasm). Ultimately, Mata doesn’t have enough heart for me, and Manchester United is a team that is full of heart. If he signs for United and proves me wrong then so be it son. Show me the way;)….until then, you warm that bench up good=).

Bale to Real Madrid. Sign him already for Filippo’s sake….he’s currently somewhere on a resort in Spain wearing speedos….give him work. Oh wait, they are not as physical in Spain so he’s probably already streets ahead of the curve unlike a recent Barcelona superstar acquisition. Perhaps this is why Tata Martino thinks he can comment on the sum of the fee Real are willing to pay for Bale…. Ronaldo and Bale on the same team… stop it. Pace and power in full glory. I’d take Bale over Neymar for some reason….I think its likely because Neymar looks like he could get pushed over by a small breeze (and the fact that he is supposedly anemic). The Classico’s will be interesting this season as usual, but nothing like the old Guardiola v. Mourinho battles though. Its just not the same.

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Beauty and the Beast

My final sound bite of this rant will be about Barcelona’s contrasting start to the season. I think their opening day 7-0 demolition of whoever that pathetic team that showed up was probably because the visitors had all summer long to think of an away day opening fixture at the Camp Nou. 6-0 at half time… come on guys seriously. Even a Barcelona training session is way more competitive than that. Besides that, a 1-1 draw with Athletico and a 1-0 win against Malaga come to mind. Better teams than Levante perhaps? Still, I don’t really care about the other 18 teams in Spain besides Messi v Ronaldo.


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